Pediphioia
by owl beanies
Summary: An AU where Rosinante lived and got him and Law out and joined the Marines. Things were going well until Rosinante walks in on something incredibly awful and life-changing (aka he finds out his son's been sleeping his way to the top). So, he plans to do something about it (it involves Doffy, much to his regret). Implied SmoLaw if that tickles your fancy.


**Thanks to FactCheck for the beta! A few notes before reading: it's named pediphioia because when I came up with the concept for this, I typoed pedophilia because I was laughing too hard and my roommate, FactCheck, convinced me to keep it. It's our inside joke and now yours too. Next, Koyagi is the lameass name I made for Sengoku's goat (literally means goat baby isn't it cUtE), and Kurohyo means black leopard. Anyways, thanks for reading. Enjoy with some fine, aged beans. Now, release the hounds!**

* * *

 **Pediphioia**

It had started out as such a normal day.

Rosinante really should've known better considering how trouble always seemed to find him and Law.

All he was certain of was this:

Rosinante was going to fucking _murder_ Akainu if it was the last thing he did.

(Possibly Smoker, too.)

* * *

Rosinante rapped on the wood paneling of Sengoku's sliding door.

"Arare," he said clearly. To anyone else, it just sounded like he was randomly saying crackers, but to him and Sengoku, it was their code from years ago when he was still undercover.

"Okaki," Sengoku responded. "Come in."

Though they no longer needed the code, Sengoku and Rosinante still used it every day. Old habits die hard after all.

"Ah, there you are." Sengoku said, looking up at his son tiredly.

Rosinante surmised the cause of his father's weariness to be the multiple stacks of paperwork that were half his height resting on Sengoku's desk.

"I need you to go deliver these reports to the Admirals for me." Sengoku informed, shuffling around through some paperwork before finding the folders and holding them out for Rosinante.

Rosinante took a drag from his cigarette, setting down the cup of green tea he'd brought for Sengoku and taking the folders from his father.

Typically, delivering reports wasn't a job for Vice-Admirals like himself, but when it came to the Admirals…

Well, there weren't many who could come out unscathed from meetings, albeit for different reasons for each Admiral.

Rosinante was the only one Sengoku trusted to take care of himself, as well as the only Vice-Admiral who he could pester into doing it since many of the actual report-deliverers were too scared to do it themselves.

There was also the fact that Rosinante and Aokiji had been boyfriends for the last ten years, and so long as they kept it low-key despite how everyone already knew, anti-fraternization rules wouldn't be upheld.

"Don't overdo it, pops." Rosinante said gruffly before turning and leaving, white coat fluttering behind him before he immediately tripped over Koyagi's rope and face-planted into the rug, setting fire to yet another section of his coat.

Sengoku sighed heavily, pulling out the pail of water he'd kept next to his desk for this very purpose, dumping the contents over Rosinante.

"I could repeat the sentiment, dear son."

* * *

To no one's surprise, Rosinante went to Aokiji first, not bothering to knock on the other's door as he slid it open.

Naturally, Aokiji was sprawled on a beanbag as opposed to at his desk, sleeping mask covering his eyes and long limbs twitching as he snored loudly.

Rosinante took a drag of his cigarette before tapping the ashes onto Aokiji.

"Ararara…" Aokiji complained, lifting the corner of his mask to peer up at Rosinante.

"Always good to see you keeping up the hard work," Rosinante said wryly.

"But, Rosi," Aokiji drawled, "if I didn't take naps, how else would I have the energy to keep up with you?"

Rosinante snorted before dropping one of the reports on Aokiji's chest. "Get up; we're going to go deliver the rest."

Aokiji made a sound that could've been a whine if he'd let it develop instead of lazily cutting it off.

"Why do I have to? I'm an Admiral, you know. Admirals don't go around delivering reports."

"They do if they want to have sex with their boyfriends."

"…"

* * *

Rosinante went to Akainu's office next, deciding that it would be easier to get it over with. He wasn't fond of the older Admirals, and his and Akainu's mutual hatred of each other was a well-known secret on base.

Akainu didn't like that Rosinante had stolen the Op-Op Fruit and fed it to the sole survivor of Flevance, " _of all places_ ", and upon coming back to the Marines, received a slap on the wrist and still managed to earn his spot as a Vice-Admiral. None of these fit into his ideals of Absolute Justice in the slightest.

Rosinante didn't like Akainu because he was a fucking asshole.

Mentally steeling himself for whatever prejudiced, hateful barbs Akainu was probably going to spit out at him this time, Rosinante knocked on the door as Aokiji slouched next to him, yawning and smacking his lips.

Upon receiving no answer, Rosinante figured Akainu was out, and he slid the door open. He always took great pleasure in swapping around things on Akainu's desk to tick him off.

However, when Rosinante had placed the file down on Akainu's desk and got to work on moving the man's tiny bonsai three inches to the left and pushing his pen off his desk, he heard some muffled noises coming from nearby.

Rosinante looked up, surmising that the noises were probably coming from Akainu's private garden. The door to it had been left open, and Rosinante glanced around: Aokiji was napping against one of the pillars and Akainu's office door was still closed.

Well, it couldn't hurt to look, could it?

Rosinante's spying tendencies never really left despite reaching Vice-Admiral status.

So, the tall blond activated [Calm] on himself and crept over to the garden door, peering outside to see what was causing the suspicious noises.

What he saw nearly broke his mind into pieces.

There, right there in the garden _in the middle of the fucking day_ , was the person he hated most in the world, fucking his son.

Akainu had Law bent over a large boulder, one hand braced next to Law, the other gripping his hip tightly as he pumped into him hard and fast.

Rosinante tried very hard not to look at the pleasured face of his son, and stumbled back in shock, shaking as all of the blood left his face and he tried to process the fact that Akainu was deflowering Law in the middle of a garden in the middle of Marine Headquarters in the middle of the day when anyone could walk in on them, _when someone had walked in on them_.

Suddenly, Rosinante didn't feel so cold. He was feeling hot, blood boiling as he silently rose, hand going to his pistol as he began to stalk forward, locking and loading his gun.

But before he could get to the garden door, Aokiji had grabbed him by the scruff and began pulling him out of the office.

Rosinante spewed foul, vulgar curses at his boyfriend mutely, struggling furiously, as Aokiji dragged him to Sengoku's office.

Upon entering, Rosinante immediately deactivated his [Calm], marching up to Sengoku's desk, and slamming his hands down on the hard wood.

"We need to arrest Akainu."

Sengoku blinked slowly before placing his pen down and rubbing his lined forehead tiredly.

"And why do you think so this time?"

"Probably because he was fucking Law in his garden," Aokiji replied boredly.

Sengoku froze, blood rushing out of his face just like Rosinante's had.

"Sakazuki did _what_?"

"This needs to be dealt with _immediately_ ," Rosinante growled.

"But why―" Sengoku began, mouth flapping. "Sakazuki _despises_ you and Law, why would he―he―" he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Law's been sleeping his way to the top for years," Aokiji snorted.

Rosinante and Sengoku's heads whipped to face him, gazes boring into the ice man.

Damn it, Aokiji knew he shouldn't have let Rosinante drag him out of his office.

 _But,_ _ **sex**_ , Aokiji's mind reminded him.

 _True_ , Aokiji agreed.

"You, talk, _now_." Rosinante ordered.

Aokiji shrugged. "Mostly just rumors, but seems like he's slept with someone in each position he's wanted for a while now, and then also just around because he's like that. Heard he visits Smoker a lot," he answered. "Face it, Rosi, your son's a slut, nothing wrong with it."

Rosinante's face went red and he flailed angrily as he stomped over to Aokiji, almost tripping but catching himself on Aokiji's shoulders as he pointed in his face angrily.

"Now you listen here, Law would _never_ ―he's a _child_! He's never had sex in his life!" Rosinante whirled around, steaming, as he glared at Sengoku. "We need to arrest Akainu _now_. Charge him with pedophilia and corruption of the innocent!"

Sengoku stared down at his pen, contemplating whether or not to stab himself in the throat and be done with it.

"Rosi, Law is an adult, he is _twenty-six_. Whatever relations he has, so long as they're with someone over the legal age, are not pedophilia." Sengoku said slowly.

Rosinante whipped out his wallet, letting the accordion photo collage of Law throughout the years fall open as he clomped back over and shoved the pictures in Sengoku's face.

"Look at him! A child!" Rosinante insisted.

"Look," Sengoku began, well-used to Rosinante's Grand Line-sized blind spot for Law's indiscretions, "our anti-fraternization rules require proof. The fact that Akainu is involved will already throw doubt considering how much he supports that article. Even if they do get found guilty, Law will get in trouble, too."

It was then that Rosinante knew what he had to do.

He straightened, smoothing down his tie as he lit up two more cigarettes and shoved them in his mouth.

"I understand, Sengoku-san." Rosinante said crisply, saluting before turning on his heel and walking out.

To his credit, he didn't trip until he was in the hallway.

Aokiji stared at his fallen boyfriend, not making an effort to help as the blond got back to his feet and brushed himself off.

"What are you planning, Rosi?" Aokiji questioned, brow furrowed.

"Nothing," Rosinante said with a beatific smile, removing his three cigarettes before pecking Aokiji on the lips. "Go take a nap, you'll need it."

Then, he replaced his cigarettes and strode confidently down the hallway.

Aokiji watched as Smoker happened to pass Rosinante, nodding politely to him, but paling as Rosinante threw a fierce glare at the younger man.

Well, Aokiji knew this wasn't going to end well, but at least he'd get some great sex out of it.

* * *

" _You have some balls, Rosinante._ "

Rosinante swallowed, but stayed resolute.

He was doing this for Law.

"It's been a while, Doffy."

" _To what do I owe the honor, Vice-Admiral?_ " Doflamingo said, voice low and dangerous.

"I need you to…take care of someone," Rosinante admitted.

There was a long silence before Doflamingo burst into chuckles, the sound choked at first before it turned exasperated and borderline hysterical.

" _You entered my Family and ratted out our movements to the Marines, kidnapped one of my kids, stole the Op-Op Fruit and gave it to said brat, wormed your way back to the Marines, and now, after staying away from us for the last thirteen years, you want me to help you do the very thing your weak nature didn't let you do?_ "

"That sounds about right," Rosinante replied.

"…"

"Look, it's for Law," Rosinante sighed. "Someone's taking advantage of him and I _won't_ let it continue," he stated.

" _Law?_ " Doflamingo's interest was definitely perked.

Rosinante knew he had done the right thing by bringing up Law; the older Donquixote had singled Law out as his successor for a plethora of reasons, many of which Rosinante didn't wish to know.

" _The brat's got the Op-Op Fruit, who could be taking advantage of him? Tsk, tsk, Rosi, didn't you take him away because you were convinced you could raise him better?_ "

"Better than raising him to die for you," Rosinante spat before regaining his composure. "It's Akainu. He's been…he's been doing…doing―" Rosinante swallowed, unable to bring himself to say it.

" _Why, Rosi!_ " Doflamingo sounded positively thrilled by the news, and Rosinante was suddenly reminded of a nosy aunt who liked gossip. " _You can't be implying that our little Lawsie is fucking an Admiral! Ah, wait, being fucked by, that old fart would never take it up the ass, would he?_ "

Rosinante felt like he was going to be sick.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…"

" _No, it wasn't on your part._ " Doflamingo agreed. " _To hell with it! I'll do it. Mostly because this is the funniest fucking thing I've heard in years. I'll call you later to discuss payment. It's been a real slice, brother._ "

Rosinante stared down at the den-den mushi, stomach churning, as he wondered what he had just signed up for.

 _For Law,_ Rosinante reminded himself as he swallowed thickly.

* * *

Two months and a favor to Doflamingo involving a night of drag that he would like to forget later, Rosinante was standing proud as he watched Sengoku grant Law an Admiralship.

Oh, yeah, Rosinante forgot to mention: Akainu had died of mysterious causes finally attributed to heart failure some weeks earlier.

He hadn't gone to the funeral.

Kizaru and Aokiji were currently present, and to Rosinante's displeasure, Smoker, upon Law's insistence (Aokiji backed him, which Rosinante shouldn't have been surprised about considering Smoker was one of Aokiji's subordinates).

"Do you understand the duties and responsibilities that are being placed on you, Trafalgar Law?" Sengoku intoned seriously as he looked down at his kneeling grandson.

"I do," Law nodded.

"Then, I, by the authority of the Marines and permission of the Five Elder Stars, raise you, Trafalgar Law, as Admiral Kurohyo."

Law stood, and Sengoku handed him the folded Admiral's coat that Law carefully donned atop his black suit.

Rosinante sniffed quietly; his little boy had grown up so much.

Next to him, Aokiji shifted, hand brushing against Rosinante's in what could be viewed as an accident but what Rosinante knew was a brief, comforting touch.

Law turned from Sengoku, and when his golden gaze fell on Rosinante, it was bright with pride and relief.

While Law's smile wasn't as wide as Rosinante's happy grin, it was a close thing.

Mentally, Sengoku was just glad that Law didn't have any more positions to sleep up to. Though, his eyebrow twitched when he saw the purpling hickey visible on the back of Law's neck, throwing a disapproving look at Smoker who pretended very hard not to see it.

Well, so long as Smoker kept treating Law right, Sengoku wouldn't be forced to slip something into his tea like he had Akainu.

* * *

 **YAH DIDN'T THINK IT'D BE SENGOKU ALL ALONG DID YA? HA! Anyways, if y'all want to find out what Doflamingo was doing during these turbulent times, badger FactCheck nyeh.**


End file.
